Kitchen Catechism: Featured Articles

A Gift Sometimes Forgotten

by Lois Donahue

Some time ago I got the feeling that I was beginning to get mired in 'serious' and felt the need to take a 'lighten-up' break. While I wasn't down playing the importance of 'serious' I did remember God telling us in Ecclesiastics 3:4 that there is "a time to laugh". Not too long after that I began to think perhaps what God told us in the Bible was His way of reminding us that one of the many gifts He has given us as human beings is the ability to laugh, or to chuckle or at least to grin. To sum it up - that beyond the 'five' senses with which we are so familiar God also gave us a 'sense of humor'. (Although I have to admit that in some cases and on some occasions and with some people it appears to be a wrapped gift yet to be opened.)

Something else occurred to me about God's gifts to us…since we know God is such a wise and loving Father, every gift He gives must serve a useful purpose in our lives - must fill some need. That certainly makes sense when it came to humor. I thought about the fact that we've learned how humor helps us view life from a less threatening or demanding perspective - helps to release our emotional pressure valves. How often have we heard that 'laughter is the best medicine'. We've learned, too, that some hospitals have 'humor rooms' and that humor is used to fight depression. Next I ran across some quotes like the following -

St. Francis of Assisi said, "Leave sadness to the devil, the devil has reason to be sad.", St. Teresa of Avila asked God to - "Save us from sullen saints.", Abraham Lincoln said - "If it were not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burden of this office." and Theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr tells us - "Humor is a prelude to faith and laughter is the beginning of prayer".

Then, very recently I read a short collection of things supposedly found on tombstones and with that I decided to put together some kind of lighthearted account of how I deal with humor maintenance on a day-to-day basis and, of course, I have to share it with you.

THINK LITE

"Here lies old Abigail Brown. She lived and died wearing a frown She ain't laughed in years So we're shedding few tears For the crabbiest lady in town."

Up until I read those words I hadn't really thought much about cemetery epitaphs beyond their humor. This one must have hit a warning nerve, though, because right then I knew I didn't want Abigail's kind of legacy on my tombstone.

It also occurred to me that if I didn't want to become a bitter, vindictive, complaining old woman whose circle of friends would shrink to the size of a doughnut hole I was pretty much in charge of not letting it happen. How to deal with that kind of responsibility was the question. I finally decided that one of my best defenses against 'crotchety', 'cranky' and 'avoid her like the plague' was - to think 'lite' by keeping my sense of humor.

Now I'm the first to admit that aging isn't a barrel of chuckles. Varicose veins, hair loss, sagging breasts, dentures and a hearing aid may get laughs for a stand-up comic but they fall way short of being hilarious when you see them on your medical chart. So I've made up my mind not to lock my bifocal gaze on my medical chart. Instead, I look around for smile-starters. And sure enough - there they are. People with so many earrings in one ear they tilt - somebody bun-straddling a bathing suit that couldn't hide a hemorrhoid - a guy with one of those ""my-landscaper did it hair cuts" -- and at least one gal whose hair style makes you think she's been hooked up to jumper cables. (And these are the folks who think polyester is funny.)

However, I don't find humor only in people-watching. I enjoy laughing at myself - at situations - at generalities - at good jokes. Like the two young men who had been dating older women and were now comparing notes. "How old was the lady you dated last night?" asked one. "I don't know," said the other, "but when I told her to act her age, she died." (O.K. so I even laugh at not-so-good jokes.) But, needless to say, life isn't all jokes, good company, quiet contentment and a box of chocolates under the sheets in the linen closet. There are tear-times, worrisome pain, fearful uncertainty and people who ask me dinosaur questions as though I had one for a pet…all of which make humor-retention even more challenging.

These are the times when I need to call on attitude, strategy or both.

Attitude, of course, is how I've learned to perceive things. It's not that I let my imagination distort what I see so completely that it's unrecognizable; it's more like when, as a child, I had to search those picture pages in which the artist had 'hidden' objects - like a dog, a hammer or a flower. In certain circumstances humor is so clearly visible that it all but jumps out at me. In others - like when my neighbors cat uses my front porch planter as a litter box - I really have to grit my teeth, hold my tongue and make a concentrated effort. That's when the only thing that makes it work at all is my continuing belief that there is humor there - someplace.

Strategy, on the other hand, is more like tactical maneuvering. I don't intentionally bury my head in 'denial sand' thus rendering non-existent anything that doesn't fit into my game plan. Rather, I simply adapt reality to avoid what could otherwise be depressing. For example, I never look in a full-length mirror unless I am alone, in a candlelight room and not wearing my glasses.

So much for my efforts to meet life head-on. I don't intend to let simply growing older do much more than slow my pace. I plan to remain a concerned citizen in spite of the fact that politics are usually about as humorous as lower back pain. I'll do my best to continue to work and to play. To grieve when need be. To volunteer - to cope - to pray - to wonder. To hurt and to heal. To accept all realities with my 'funny bone antenna' up and receiving.

My intention is to move along with a wise-grip on my sense of humor and ever clinging to the hope that someone will feel it appropriate to engrave on my tombstone "SHE LAUGHED 'TIL SHE DIED".

-------- Back to 'serious' next time - I promise.

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"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

"Nothing should
frighten or grieve you.
Let not your heart be troubled. Am I, your Mother,
not here with you?"

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